Where Does Your Self Worth Come From?

This year I have had a few trials that I ended up learning where I got my self worth from. My worth comes from my relationship with God. When I feel that he approves of me, I am happy. When I feel he does not, I am not. I am so glad that God is where my worth comes from. Why you ask? Because it is easy keep up with your relationship with God, as opposed to other things in life.

I am so happy that my worth does not come from school. I have never been good at school, I will never be good at school. I should have been done with school years ago. I am not, why, because I am terrible at managing my time outside of class. Homework is almost impossible for me to do, and if I ever get behind it is hard to catch back up. I am bad at admitting my problems. I am getting better, but it is still hard. If my self worth was based on school I would have none.

Work is great. I love work. I love going to work each day, getting things done, being a leader, turning off my life and just being there. When I get home, I am home. Work is the best. Currently I get paid enough to live, if I was married as I probably should be, it would be hard, but being a single person my pay is enough. If my self worth was based on work, I would have a lot, not the best ever, but I would be happy.

Having my self worth based on God makes it constant. I know people who their personal worth changes by the hour depending on what they are working on, what grade they got on a test or assignment, or who flirted with them that day. Wow is all I can say to that. It is a roller coaster and makes me anxious. I could never keep up with that. If I had my self worth related based of my relationship I would be on that kind of roller coaster. Relationships are hard. I have never really succeeded at one, not matter how hard I try. I could probably get married right now, but I am not sure if that counts as succeeding until I feel like it is right.

Having my self worth based on being happy with my relationship with God is so easy. I just have to be a good person, and when I mess up (all the time) repent and move on. There are basic commandment (daily prayers, reading scriptures, chastity, tithing, word of wisdom, ten commandments...) and if I follow them, which cans be a trial I will be happy not matter what comes along in life. If I was a hobo and still doing the best I can,  I would still have self worth. How cool is that.

My Heavenly Father (God) love me. He blesses my life every day. He makes me want to be a better man, and therefore makes me a better man. I have a smile on my face and can keep that smile on my face. I often tell people it is impossible to offend me, which it is because my worth is not based on what others think, it is based on what I and my God think of me.

Facebook AutoPost

I am testing a facebook auto-post to see if I can help a friend going on a mission to update all her friends. Let's see if http://www.rssgraffiti.com/ actually works as simply as it says it should.

Windows 8 Start Button

I like most people have felt a little empty not having a start button on the bottom left corner in windows 8. So I made a quick executable that just opens the start menu, then pinned it to my start menu in the leftmost spot. Download it here. (Thank you dropbox public folder.)

You might get some kind of warning, like this one I got from chrome, just click the arrow and keep. If you don't trust me make one yourself using the info below here.


Here is how I made it. I found on line that you can use this code for a Visual Basic script:

set wShell=wscript.createobject("wscript.shell")
wShell.sendkeys "^{ESC}"
Set WshShell = Nothing

Then I found an icon I wanted. I liked this one. Then I downloaded a program called VBSEdit, which has a function to make a vb script into an excectable. (Just use the evaluation version) Then TADA a working button to have there.

Adverisment

I just found out that when I talk about a product I can make money or something by adding a direct link like the one below. Since Ticonderoga pencils are the only pencils I like to use and have recommended in the past, I wanted to see what this would look like. That is all.

Jumble

I have wanted to post for a while again, just because I want to. So far I have been foiled all to often. Some times I start and just don't know what to say anymore, mostly because I am too tired that my brain turns off. Other times I have my girlfriend or cleaning checks or roommates or something pop up and it makes me put it off.

I want to address my being tired. I am not going to complain like I have wanted to in the past I just wanted to say it. I can function really well when tired because I have had terrible sleeping habits most of my life, most people  don't notice too much when I am tired, because that is just who I am. I usually go from activity to activity using my ADD abilities to keep me awake, because I know as soon as I relax I am done and It will probably take more energy than I have to get me back on track.

That all being said this week I am seriously tired. Yesterday I went to work, and got some things done, but mostly my brain just turned off, and when I wasn't working on something in specific time just disappeared. It is amazing how slow/fast time can go when you don't notice it happening. Then I went to the grocery store. I took an hour there, which felt like five. I got more things than usual, but mostly I just had found a few recipes that I wanted to make for Valentines Day. Tomorrow I plan on waking up early and making breakfast, and then coming home from school and making dinner, while fitting in maybe a ballet and hopefully some homework. I really don't know how I am not going to pass out somewhere along the way, but I will try.

Back on topic, sleeping is hard. There is something wrong with me, that I can be as tired as anyone has ever been, and as soon as I get into bed at night I am wide awake. This phenomenon doesn't happen during the day, I can nap all I want, practically anywhere I want. This is a problem. In the past, and probably still I have had some problems, like I didn't exercise enough in the day or I just like having noise on, which sometimes keeps me up longer than putting me to sleep. Recently I have been doing the noise thing. I don't know what it is, but as soon as the day comes to an end, I don't want to face tomorrow. I don't know why, but that has been keeping me up. I try to drown it out by turning on some show to just fall asleep to, but that doesn't always work. Being afraid of tomorrow every night is not something I am used to. I like my life and I don't know where the fear comes from.

Well I need to get to class and ranting isn't helping. There is homework to be done places to be. I just want to sleep for a week and then I think I will be fine, but sleep is not something that I get to do, even when I have the time.

Life Update

I have wanted to blog for a while now, I just never do it. The other day I almost grumbled when I was grumbly... something about no time, stress from school, and not getting enough sleep... but today I am happy again and just wanted to be a blogger. I enjoy bloggers.

It is my birthday next week. I am going to be 27. That is old. I didn't realize how easy it would be to get old. I am kind of excited to be 27 because I just do better on odd years. I do okay on even years but I have liked all my odd years in my 20s (21,23 and 25) and I have just done okay with my even ones. That sounds strange, but it is kind of true. I actually have a plan for a fun birthday party. I bought some Miracle Berry Tablets (The link is where I got the idea, I got them a bit cheaper on Amazon, yay amazon prime) and I am going to have a tasting party. It should be fun. I just need toy buy some sour things.

Today I got a bunch of emails for free stuff. Last week I went to this web page http://www.freebie-depot.com/birthday-freebie-list/ and signed up for anything near by. I get a few more spam emails per day, but for my birthday it is the best.

I thought I had more to type, but I lost all of my gumption. Goodbye for now.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

I love this recipe and always lose it. So here is a copy. I found it here.

I personally use a big can of pumpkin and double the rest of the ingredients. So I think I use 1.5x the pumpkin, but it is super delicious.

Serves: 1-8 Preparation time: 20 Minutes Cooking time: 10-12 Minutes

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Ingredients

1 c. sugar 
1 c. pumpkin 
1/2 c. oil 
1 egg 

Mix together above ingredients. Sift and add to above: 

2 c. flour 
1/2 tsp. salt 
1 tsp. cinnamon 
2 tsp. baking powder 

Dissolve and add to rest of ingredients: 

1 tsp. soda 
1 tsp. milk 
1 tsp. vanilla 
1 c. chocolate chips 

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Method

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Drop on lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake approximately 10 to 12 minutes.

NOTE: Careful not to overcook. Cookies will be soft and moist.