Jumble

I have wanted to post for a while again, just because I want to. So far I have been foiled all to often. Some times I start and just don't know what to say anymore, mostly because I am too tired that my brain turns off. Other times I have my girlfriend or cleaning checks or roommates or something pop up and it makes me put it off.

I want to address my being tired. I am not going to complain like I have wanted to in the past I just wanted to say it. I can function really well when tired because I have had terrible sleeping habits most of my life, most people  don't notice too much when I am tired, because that is just who I am. I usually go from activity to activity using my ADD abilities to keep me awake, because I know as soon as I relax I am done and It will probably take more energy than I have to get me back on track.

That all being said this week I am seriously tired. Yesterday I went to work, and got some things done, but mostly my brain just turned off, and when I wasn't working on something in specific time just disappeared. It is amazing how slow/fast time can go when you don't notice it happening. Then I went to the grocery store. I took an hour there, which felt like five. I got more things than usual, but mostly I just had found a few recipes that I wanted to make for Valentines Day. Tomorrow I plan on waking up early and making breakfast, and then coming home from school and making dinner, while fitting in maybe a ballet and hopefully some homework. I really don't know how I am not going to pass out somewhere along the way, but I will try.

Back on topic, sleeping is hard. There is something wrong with me, that I can be as tired as anyone has ever been, and as soon as I get into bed at night I am wide awake. This phenomenon doesn't happen during the day, I can nap all I want, practically anywhere I want. This is a problem. In the past, and probably still I have had some problems, like I didn't exercise enough in the day or I just like having noise on, which sometimes keeps me up longer than putting me to sleep. Recently I have been doing the noise thing. I don't know what it is, but as soon as the day comes to an end, I don't want to face tomorrow. I don't know why, but that has been keeping me up. I try to drown it out by turning on some show to just fall asleep to, but that doesn't always work. Being afraid of tomorrow every night is not something I am used to. I like my life and I don't know where the fear comes from.

Well I need to get to class and ranting isn't helping. There is homework to be done places to be. I just want to sleep for a week and then I think I will be fine, but sleep is not something that I get to do, even when I have the time.